First Entry

Well, I'm not sure if I'm very good a blogging yet but my goal is to explore my thoughts and feelings as I try to become an ideal sub for my master, who in my case, is also my husband.

I think, being married for nearly 20 years, I have a lot of reactions to my husband that will have to be unlearned as he becomes my master. I first considered that I wanted to be submissive to my husband because we were going through a rough patch and my tendency over the years has been to become more assertive and aggressive in our relationship - which is ok in someways - you have to stand up for yourself - but it doesn't help advance our relationship, so I want to reverse that and learn to give up control.

My first experience as a sub - when I realized I was turned on by the thought of being dominated - was sitting on a stool on the bed - tied to the bed and made to site on an anal plug. It was amazingly erotic - the plug was quite big and I didn't think I could stand to have it in for long at all - but because I was tied and my master wanted me to take it - I concentrated on relaxing and enjoying the sensations I was experiencing. I don't know how long I remained like that - I remember he left me and went to get some drink at the store, but after he came back I ended up having an orgasm that he called a whole body orgasm! The feelings are hard to describe but it was all good.

I have some concerns - he has never been a Dom before - so I know that he has as much to learn as I do - but I trust that he will do this like he does everything - in a considered and deliberate way. He doesn't do anything without a lot of research till he knows the subject inside out, so it's my job to just do my job - I give up control and trust him to do what's best for me.

Every time I think of giving up that control and relying on him to do whatever he feels to me and with me - I get a rush of adrenaline and my pussy tingles.

So, I guess we'll see where this all goes.