An Empty House

I just love having an empty house! It has so much potential for endless fun and games - and you can moan and scream as loudly as you like. So, we had an empty house - but unfortunately, master had to go see pig whore (as I affectionately like to call her) so he was later than I would've liked - but he did get home and we did have lots of fun. The time he was away gave me lots of time to prepare the room - all the toys, ropes, paddles and a chair for tieing if he wished it.

I also have a new mask for web cam. He used me well and I kept quiet (at least I wasn't mouthy!!) and I only wish we could've gone on much longer - as it was we went to bed after 4 or 5 am I think - but I can never get enough when we play like we did!

Didn't get to use the chair. Oh well!

Since then - another disappointing night where he ended up having to go rescue pig whore cause she was stupid drunk and sick on top. Pisses me off - him going to her rescue. What can I do - he's "a nice guy" I guess - wouldn't leave her to her crappy friends cause he knows they wouldn't look after her.

Anyway, another revelation I think - about my feelings and my anger - I think, in my house growing up, that the angriest person won! I mean - I don't remember any conversations where people sat down and discussed issues and then made desicions based on anything. I remember lots of fights where whoever was the angriest basically got their own way - then lots of guilty rewards for those of us who had to watch it all go down.

Bad habits, bad signals - so - I have to get angry when angry is appropriate but not use that anger to try to win points or get my way because I have a right to be angry. I can be angry and not be mean and petty. I can be upset but not take it out on everyone around me. I can be unhappy with a situation and simply let the person or persons know I'm unhappy and move on. Master is not stupid - if I'm unhappy - he doesn't need me to continue to grind it home that I'm unhappy. He knows what makes me unhappy and he knows I want him to BE happy. So, we'll just see where that brings us I suppose.

Hoping to play tonight - we'll see. More later.