The Feeling (and Conquering ) of Anger

Life is very strange. I recognize the feelings and symptoms of anger. I feel like a junkie. I have to recognize my own symptoms before they take hold. That's the trick. My face goes numb and tingly - I can feel the blood in my ears. I can even make it happen by thinking about it.

That's horrifying. Anyway, my Master has decided that I need another 'me' day. On my own. It's his absence which makes me study my anger - so he's right I suppose. I'd like to be happy for more than two or three days at a time though. And remember what it is I'm fighting for.

If Master decides to give me the kind of 'me' day where I am at peace and in joy with him, that would bring me great joy. Tender loving sex would be lovely too. Those are gifts I would ask my Master for should he choose to give me a gift.

I wonder if I am really going to travel down this road to living my life as a sub. Where does the line get drawn. I don't know yet. But I despair at the thought of "allowing" my self to "allow" my husband to continue to have girlfriends on the side. I don't like it. The thought brings my anger up. So where do I draw the line?

I guess we'll see.

I just really feel like a dose of love from someone - preferably my Master :). I like fun as much and more than most people, and I believe my Master has my best interest at heart, but I'm gonna get sad if I don't get some love soon. lol. So.... the decision is made. I will wait. Be patient. I'd like a drunk on wine night with candles and romance and love. My new fantasy!!

Firelight, candles, wine, me in my collar and dressed to please my Master. Tits bound? something tight, with my pussy and ass out. mmmmmmmmmmmm..........

I'm such a pervert.

No wonder I'm desperate to keep my Master - the thought of ever letting anyone else be my Master is unthinkable. and the thought of not having a Master isn't cool either. I really really get off on it. It's pretty fucking weird.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!! Just had a thought and it's a doozy and I can and will do fucking anything for this man, my Master. Probably. Like the fantasy with L tied up and me brought in to lick her for him and her and I fucking for him. and my helping him fuck her and even possibly me showing her how to suck his cock right.

So, my thought just now was him fucking her and coming home and fucking me. and her and I being friends who both fuck my Master. Is she sub too then? She says she wants to be tied - if my Master was telling me the truth about that... and of the three of us having fun together.

I would love this fantasy even more with the someone we both liked!! I still have reservations about L. As my Master does - we'll keep hanging out and having fun hopefully and we'll either integrate her into our life or he won't choose to. or she won't choose to.